Looking out, Looking in

This is the view out one of my kitchen windows into the back yard, a central feature of which is a small bird feeder...a feeder for small birds.

It is a dual joy for me--the birds happily bathing and feeding and Camilla watching them. However, I recently became aware that Camilla is interested in both nature and culture--quite literally, looking out and looking in.

That is because she divides her time, not by plan, but more by instinct...sitting on a bench below the window when she wants my attention; sleeping on top of a table to be near the air conditioning unit; lying on the floor looking out an open door; and so on. It is fairly simple.

Here is a watercolor of Camilla looking out...yet her thoughts may not be entirely on the bird feeder. We don't know. Humans are more complicated. We can be looking at something or someone and know where our mind is. It depends on whether we are truly looking and listening, connected to reality , or looking inward, being introspective--in our own head.

"Dialogue for One" speaks to Camilla's dual
vantage point. And ours...


Have you seen me lately
sitting at the window
with a mirror, looking out
and looking in?

It’s been
like one defacing
the other, trying to decide
which is more real at any given time.
A friend of mine used to say
she saw clearly until she really started looking
—I mean in the glass she bought
to see her flawless complexion.